Love and Judgement

It is true to say, I believe, that although we are quick to make excuses to ourselves for our own shortcomings, no-one judges us more harshly. Our judgement of our selves and our own actions is often much too severe and is one of the things that can lead to depression.

The problem at the root of all this is a failure to love ourselves. By that I do not mean we should become vain and full of conceit but we should try harder to understand who and what we are. Before really being able to love yourself, you must get to know yourself and you cannot do that properly by focussing just on the physical you. When you look into a mirror, the reflection you see is not really you, but only a small part of you. Most of you remains hidden where physical eyes cannot penetrate. There is only one way to access this vital part of you and that is by learning to be still. The real you whilst being in this world, is not of this world and you must adapt your approach accordingly.

It is important to spend some time alone and it is during these periods you should try to be really still, so that you can look with your inner eyes at the being who only reveals a small part of itself in physical life. The real you is a wonderful person and becoming familiar with her or him in the stillness is the beginning of true self-knowledge. The regular act of becoming acquainted with your true self in this way has remarkable and beneficial effects. Your true persona is released more and more into you physical self, you become calmer and more self-assured and other people begin to notice the change in you and seek your company. You become less impatient, time seems to open up for you in a mysterious way and whereas before, you never seemed to have enough time to do all you wanted, now you seem to have ‘all the time in the world’.

Once you know, then you can love. When you learn to love yourself two things happen. First you are kinder in your self-judgement and second you find it easier to love and understand others. Loving others does not mean you then approve of all they do. No, it is a matter of understanding that nobody is perfect, yet loving them despite their weaknesses. You do not have to condone a rash, foolish or unwholesome act because you love someone. You do not even have to like someone in order to love them. But you do need to understand the operation of universal law. It is so arranged that payment will be extracted in one form or another for all negative acts or thoughts. Those who truly love, instead of condemning, try to support the individual so they have the strength to deal successfully with what is demanded of them.

One of the most difficult tasks we are set in our lives is that of avoiding the temptation to be judgemental. The Native Americans say that until we have walked a mile in another’s moccasins, we cannot know them. It is a very wise observation and one we do well to recognise. Because the yardstick we use to measure the behaviour of others, is limited and greatly influenced by our own, very imperfect experience, we cannot possibly be objective. Therefore we cannot possibly be fair because there is no way we can take into account all the relevant factors that went into bringing the individual concerned to the point in life they have reached. Even if we know a great many details about their background, upbringing and the circumstances of their birth, it is still an incomplete picture.

Were it in some magical way possible to know every thing, every person and every experience on earth that has shaped the person concerned, your knowledge would still only be partial. You see we have lived before - all of us. We came to our earthly bodies from elsewhere, bringing with us the accumulated experiences that earlier went into making us as individuals. So though we may think we know all about what has happened to them on earth, we can never know what happened to them before they got here.