IF ONLY . . .

In the words of the old song:-

If only, if only the woodpecker sighs,
The bark of the tree was as soft as the skies.
The wolf waits below hungry and lonely
And cries to the moon, “If only, if only . . .


How often have you heard people begin a sentence with these words? Indeed, how often have you done the same? It usually happens when something goes wrong or a totally unexpected challenge comes our way and interferes with plans we have made. Nobody likes change particularly and neither do we immediately accept the results when something we have undertaken or planned, goes wrong. Yet, if we look back over the years and remember what happened on other similar occasions, I believe we can take heart.

I know we always think that the current challenge is so much worse than any previous one but that is human nature. In fact our life is full of such changes of direction or emphasis and although it is often possible to trace the cause, maybe some oversight on our part or the failure to anticipate the actions of another, they rarely turn out to be quite as desperate as we sometimes think. Indeed, many of them have forced a change upon us that has turned out to be a blessing. Whether that is so or not, there is no doubt at all that each such experience and how we meet its challenges impacts upon our character and our spiritual growth.

Our character, whilst partly formed by genetic inheritance, is chiefly moulded by what happens to us, the environment in which we live and how positively we react to challenges. In life we learn a great deal from our mistakes and although we strive hard not to make them it is impossible not to. That is because they are part of the curriculum of life. What was it the sage said? “Show me a man who has not made a mistake and I will show you a man who has not lived”. The corollary to this of course is that we should try to learn from each mistake we make.

Another “If only …” concerns our environment. "If only I had been born at a different time or place; if only I wasn’t surrounded by so much poverty, or violence, or temptation; if only I hadn’t listened to his or her advice"; the list seems endless. I believe each of us chooses the time and place of our birth as well as choosing our parents. That being the case, there must be a very good reason why we chose them. Although it is almost impossible to establish beyond doubt why we chose, we only need to look at the pages of history to see the huge number of people who have triumphed over adversity and completely overcome the disadvantages of their birth or setbacks experienced subsequently.

Instead of moaning “if only…” should we not rather be tying to work out how we can turn the new circumstances to our advantage or what it is we are expected to learn this time? Whatever it is, we can guarantee it’s important. It really is ‘part of life’s rich pattern in which nothing happens by chance and there is a silver lining to every cloud.